Finally. She’s dead. I assume she’s supposed to be exhausted from running on the treadmill. But I think she’s tired of posing like an idiot for her boyfriend, er, “photographer”. (Yes, those are sarcasm quotes)
Dead. Like my modeling career.
If only this were a hugely popular tradition and the streets were filled with naked couples wrapped in flags. Brings a patriotic tear to my eye… sniff…
Hey, where's the flag pole ... OH! there it is...
I couldn’t help myself – I had to pick on this girl again. Her confused, raised-eyebrow expression is supposed to be her “sexy look”, I suppose, since she’s not wearing underwear. Add to this the awkward way she’s kicking out her leg and it’s clear that something “not good” is going on “down there”.
Got that not-so-fresh feeling? Maybe you shouldn't put hammers down there.
Dear photographers… Please don’t set up confusing compositions full of obscure objects. I know, you were just trying to get that model in bed, but, do you really have to publish and attempt to sell the useless fruits of your fantasy photo album? (she’s wearing a utility belt and posing at a “construction site”, if you’re still trying to figure that out)
Who wants to get hammered? I'm lookin at you, big boy.
There he goes again… trying to intimidate us with his aggressive emoting and gangster props. That cowboy hat just screams aggravated assault.
Does this gun make me look scary?
This model is too cool to realize he’s wearing tapered acid wash denim jeans from 1989 and copyrighted shoes from the same decade. It’s ironic couture. (not really, it’s just bad stock photography)
Hey baby. Got a light? I need to burn these clothes.
Excellence? Really? How do YOU measure excellence? Surely the longest sausage is the best… or is it the banger with the most breadth?
I see your brat is as excellent as mine.
Thank you so much @victoriaosborne – our most excellent submitter of bad stock art! (hopefully she’ll take over the blog someday…)
If you look past the unusable cheesiness of this scene, you’ll notice just what freaks the Europeans are. See, he’s holding euros. You didn’t notice the euros, did you? Nope, you were too busy eyeballing the 16 year olds. It’s okay, we understand. They’re practically legal. They’re your statutory dates.
Know when to walk away, know when to run...
This has to be the most bitchin party scene ever concocted by the mind of man. This psychedelic electro jam is entitled, “Barack-Obama-3D-model”. If you ever want to throw down, do it with the president, a giant and futuristic electro drugs.
Gimme some fist jab
She must be a specialist – with the special ability to hear through her eyeball.
Look! I'm a nurse!
Well well well, I wondered when Jesus would come to the party. Apparently the J-Man is healing a deaf, blind mute. And apparently he did this by feeding him delicious body of Christ. Just a nibble though. Note: the illustration is fine, but I do find it to be utterly useless, plus weird. Get your divine fingers out of this poor guy’s mouth, you freak.
Would you also like a pedicure, master?
You’re kidding right? Oh no, I forgot… you’re an artist – everything you create is a masterpiece! The photographer/artist named this, “wheelchair disabled nude decapitation handicapped”. Got to give it to him, not having a head can be a challenge.
Give yourself a hug. Everything will be alright.
Now, this is more like it. That guy looks disabled. He’s definitely becoming a zombie. (don’t be too grossed out, it’s photoshop)
Look into my eye!
Dammit, how is this a trend?? Wearing your tie over your eyes doesn’t make you blind or disabled, it makes you retarded! Oh wait…..
I'm lost can you return me to my cubicle?
Is being a dumbass considered a disability?
I'm typing!
WOW. This really isn’t a competition, but this is THE WORST STOCK IMAGE OF ALL TIME. “The Nothing People”???? WTF?? This is a superb indie rock album cover, but a HORRIBLE illustration. The title the “artist” gave to this illustration is “pen and ink drawing of blind people”. Really? You think these are blind people, really? Blinded by nothingness! Blinded by Zero! What a pile of shit.
We have a winner.
Oh, another BIG THANKS to @pagalina for referring me to the search term ‘disabled adult’ … it has turned out to be a gold mine of horrific nonsense. Go ahead, see for yourself…
Well somebody’s about to get disabled! American Psycho style!
Would you care to donate a limb to the disabled people foundation?
big thanks to @pagalina for keeping my blog going while I space out.
Damn, that kid needs a nurse. Looks like he’s got a botox head.
No fair, why does baby get to be plastic??
I have no idea why this photographer is being so dramatic. Is this supposed to scare us from getting our prostates checked? I just keep hearing the “Duh Duh Dunnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!” music playing, you know, like in that viral dramatic chipmunk video.
Shadow nurse!!! Gonna get ya!!!!
So, someone in this picture looks like an actual, professional serious nurse. She’s got no time for the bullshit. She’s overworked and underpaid. She could properly install a catheter for you. And someone else in this picture looks like a barbie clown stripper from upskirts.com. And she’s obviously not actually hurt. She’s a cartoon. So, what the hell are we supposed to do with this? Use it to illustrate “ludicrous” in the dictionary? Why so serious? Why so absurd? Why waste our time?
Pick a direction. Thanks.
