Looks like reflection fun time isn’t over. I’m not sure what this photographer thought this crap could be used for. Maybe buy one pair get one pair free shoe deal. Or maybe Macy’s new line: conjoined twin casual.
Mutant sweater vest sale! 50% off all siamese twin-wear!
The powers of Photoshop are infinite. With reflection magic, this euro douche can now square dance with himself. Breathtaking…
I'm too sexy for myself!
Happy New Year, everybody! I thought patriotic spandex lady would be an appropriate way to kick off 2011. I can’t think of a use for this one, except maybe for the company that sells USA flag spandex wear. And I’m sure this lady is using it on her gymnastics resume.
Spirit fingers for America!
In my first inaugural cross-contaminated guest blog, we hear from Dr. Faust, blogger over at The Lamest (who said I wasn’t interactive!!). He did all the work on this one, so you can thank him. Take it away!
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This stock photo isn’t using a fish-eye lens for effect, this is an actual photo of a crystal ball which shows how we’ll deal with the large aging population in the future. It makes sense really, at diaper time you can kill two birds with one stone and a kids ability to watch hours of teletubbies means they can put up with grannies long-winded tales about entertaining troupes wearing only a full body petticoat.
Now he cries whenever MeMaw shits herself.
Yep. He’s reaching out to his old metallic balls. No, really, that’s what this image is called. Okay, technically it’s called, “Elderly man holding two metal balls”, but let’s not split hairs here. Speaking of hair, this guy’s breast fuzz won’t stop staring at me.
At least he doesn't have metallic pubes
... or does he???
Well this is something… Something nasty. I just can’t wait to see if it’s a boy or a girl.
Some stock photography blows more than others.
Thank you Rob for creeping us out … big time.
This image tells me two things: 1) my paid image subscription is full of photos from 1988 and 2) when whole families wear nothing but denim, their money should be immediately confiscated so they will stop offending society. Also, I love how the children are ready to rip this guy a new ass.
This good samaritan is stopping the most heinous crime of all:
Double Denim
Okay, I’ll concede that he may be surprised that his junk still works, but really, where are you going with this?
Surprise!! Grandpa's Oh-Face.
I always wanted to chuck my floppy disks as hard as I could at Leena from HR’s face – but I always fought the urge. Thankfully, this photo illustrates how awesome it would’ve looked.
Heads up, diskhead!
There is nothing more amusing than covering innocent child professionals with disgusting gnarly insects. Tragically, this photographer bypassed the amusement, and hours of mantis wrangling, and opted for the patented photoshop insert and guaranteed fail.
Aaagh!! There's photoshop bullshit on my arm!!!
Well, can’t blame the keywords on this one, it’s definitely a screaming male. And now that I’ve found him, I just wish he’d stop staring at me.
Toto where are youuu? I have some new jeggings for you to try on...
Ahhh, this reminds me of one of my favorite posts that I had to take down. The title of this illustration is “Where are my keys”. And to be fair, it’s a very decent illustration. Sadly, it will never be used anywhere, except for on some dude’s bachelor party invitations.
Where ARE your keys? Are they up your ass?
Better have a look.
Thanks to @hechanova for this asshole.
“Think about the world. No, YOU think about the world. WE OWN IT!!!!!!! Hahahaaaaa!!!!”
I think this would be a great image for a caption contest. If anyone is reading this blog, feel free to post your own hilarious caption for this image. The winner will receive self-actualization and laughs produced dirt cheap by our 3rd world labor team.
Envision our synergy... take my hand... globalize!!!
The image title is, ahem, “stock-photo-two-young-women-wear-gas-masks-connected-to-each-other-for-a-unique-photograph”. I smell a Lifetime original movie. Or maybe I just smell someone else’s breath attached to my face by a hose. Maybe Lifetime will sponsor the Human Centipede sequel.
Lesbian Centipede (only on Lifetime)
Yep. The future is looking pretty bleak. At least we’ll still have cookies to get us through the hard times. Or maybe they’re making diarrhea cookies. Those would stink.
I don't want corn in mine! I like nuts!
Thank you ANONYMOUS FAN for sharing this gas mask fetish with us.
Well kids, we finally received our first scary legal email from one of our favorite places to find the best stock photography garbage. We had to remove many of our classic favorites. It’s sad, we know. We’ll have to start licensing all of our junk from now on, like this junk here.
Hulk scared!!!
Um, can you at least throw a tarp down before you cut off your own head? It’s just common decency.
Don't worry, this is just a cry for help.
The photographer has prudently depicted a timeless classic: the business casual ladies spank fight. It’s a scene we’ve all witnessed at the office before, and FINALLY, for a nominal licensing fee, advertisers can use this image to sell products of all kinds to needy children near and far. Or just laugh at how stupid it is.
It's my turn to use the facsimile machine!
Is stripping considered a blue collar job? I suppose maybe it is…
Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Work it till it hurts, bitch!!! I have NO EFFING CLUE why jumping is so popular. It’s not really an expression of any kind. Except in this case, it expresses this fierce bitch working it until it hurts.
Ohhhh yeeeeahhhh!! FEEL my delivery!!!
