This picture accurately describes how most Americans feel about Valentine’s day. While impressive, other than for my own personal amusement, this is still a useless photo.
Screw you marketing holiday that preys on my vulnerability!!!
Note to professional models seeking work: if you get propositioned by a motivated photographer with buckets of metallic body paint: RUN AWAY. Otherwise you’ll have to get naked and paint yourself up for a never-ending photo shoot featuring you and your glittery, submissive skin. If you’re that desperate for cash, be sure you get paid up front and say ‘no thanks’ to a percentage of the royalties. Because no one is going to buy that shit.
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
It really never ends…
High 5 on fumes!
I have a cup.
Ohhhhhhhh, so close. It was ALMOST the BEST IMAGE EVER. If only Snuggles had looked up at that moment like Stinky and Twinky. Oh well, let’s sell it to a stock photo site anyway.
Pictures of your cats do not an advertisement make.
If you’re confused about what you’re seeing here – it’s because this image is visually confusing. It’s a picture of a different picture of a totally obscured kid hugging his partially obscured mother. Annnnd is that a photo album Mama is holding? Is the kid crying? Are we supposed to be sad? Then add the kid’s hand flying in from the side writing ‘MAMA’ .
THEN after all that, imagine the advertisement that this image can be used in. Good luck with that last part.
Like sharpie on a polaroid, these are the days of our lives.
Join us on a journey through time and space … where typical, sexist nonsense is laid out before you in an undulating rope swing of fantasy. Also, buying our product makes all your man dreams come true. Thanks pagalina for this fantastical reader submission:
Advertising: where things that will never happen happen.
The search for “fur hat” unleashed an amazing avalanche of crazy – presumably because only crazies wear fur hats. We’ll let you decide…. This appears to be a child that has been abducted by a sasquatch.
"You cute. Bigfoot keep."
Look, people…. it’s not that we WANT to keep posting semi-nude Hooters girls trying to be sexy models – it’s that WE HAVE TO. If I have to look at them, you have to look at them. I’m at work, see? I’m not at home, enjoying my Hooters Girl Calendar in the privacy of my creepy computer room in the basement. I’m trying to find images for advertising for clients OTHER THAN HOOTERS while my boss is in the room. Is anyone else annoyed yet?
So, you want the focal point to be my stool, right?
And another classic example of the pervy photographer convincing eager models that this image will definitely make them a star!!!!
How can I possibly use this image???? Tell me, I'm asking.
Yes, it’s your cat in a valentine you made just for him, it’s very cute. It’s not, however, worth any money to anyone. So stop trying to sell it. Thanks.
No, you're cute. No, you are. You are!
Yep, another super fabulous artsy photoshop series – I’m going to call it, “Photoshop Sextasy”
Oh yeahhh, render that bitmap all over my face.
And a little creepier, but equally nonsensical and pseudo-dramatic sensual.
You're so hot when your skin slides off your face.
While we needed the ice cream to be melting, there’s NO WAY we were about to pay for one of those crazy expensive food photographers. Although, they might not have made the ice cream look like shit.
This ice cream tastes like ass!