Archive for the ‘search fail’ Category
Saturday, February 13th, 2010
Note to professional models seeking work: if you get propositioned by a motivated photographer with buckets of metallic body paint: RUN AWAY. Otherwise you’ll have to get naked and paint yourself up for a never-ending photo shoot featuring you and your glittery, submissive skin. If you’re that desperate for cash, be sure you get paid up front and say ‘no thanks’ to a percentage of the royalties. Because no one is going to buy that shit.

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
It really never ends…

High 5 on fumes!

I have a cup.
Tags:Metal hands firing gun!
Posted in artsy, bad photographer!, fail, nonsense, search fail, series, useless | 2 Comments »
Thursday, February 11th, 2010
If you’re confused about what you’re seeing here – it’s because this image is visually confusing. It’s a picture of a different picture of a totally obscured kid hugging his partially obscured mother. Annnnd is that a photo album Mama is holding? Is the kid crying? Are we supposed to be sad? Then add the kid’s hand flying in from the side writing ‘MAMA’ .
THEN after all that, imagine the advertisement that this image can be used in. Good luck with that last part.

Like sharpie on a polaroid, these are the days of our lives.
Tags:Don't even bother
Posted in bad photographer!, poorly executed, search fail, useless, wtf? | No Comments »
Friday, February 5th, 2010
Yep, another super fabulous artsy photoshop series – I’m going to call it, “Photoshop Sextasy”

Oh yeahhh, render that bitmap all over my face.
And a little creepier, but equally nonsensical and pseudo-dramatic sensual.

You're so hot when your skin slides off your face.
Tags:Melting photoshop ladies
Posted in bad photographer!, creepy, fabulous, fail, ice cream, nonsense, photoshop abuse, search fail, useless, wtf? | No Comments »
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010
Um, she appears to be happy. Oh yes, she’s threatening to unleash happy all over your stupid face.

Don't make me make you happy... I'll do it.
Tags:Woman unfurls her happiness.
Posted in bad model!, bad photographer!, search fail, sexy, useless | No Comments »
Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010
He’s a sassy old cabbage doctor bunny… must be French. He is, however, wearing pants, so, good times.

What are you looking at, English pig dog?
Posted in must be French, nonsense, photography, search fail, useless, wtf? | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, January 27th, 2010
Hmm, is this before or after? I can’t tell.

So, are you gonna call me?
Tags:Woman freaked out by her sex doll
Posted in cheesy, search fail, sex, useless | No Comments »
Tuesday, January 26th, 2010
Seriously, those sunglasses are so 1980’s – I can’t possibly use them, it wouldn’t be believable. I guess I’ll photoshop a more modern pair on his/her head…
Oh, I should probably photoshop a shirt on him/her while I’m at it…
Oh, and get rid of that ridiculous scarf, too.
Oh, and one last thing…
MAYBE I’LL REMOVE THE BABY’S ASSCRACK FROM ITS CHIN AND ADD A MOUTH, NOSE AND HUMAN FUCKING FACIAL FEATURES.
But, other than that, this is p-e-r-f-e-c-t.

Ass on your face, ass on your face, lookin like a fool with that ass on your face.
Posted in GENIUS!, creepy, fail, gross, must be French, nonsense, photography, photoshop abuse, really??, search fail, wtf? | No Comments »
Tuesday, January 26th, 2010
I really think your product will sell if we can somehow conjure the image of women pooping… Perfect!

Let's all poop our pants.
Tags:shouldn't you take your pants off first?, Um
Posted in GENIUS!, artsy, nonsense, really??, search fail | No Comments »
Thursday, January 21st, 2010
You know, the seashell with the pretty swirls from your math book? Yeah, didn’t need the 90’s bikini teen to completely steal the focus of the image. In fact, no one needs that. Ever. But hey, the upside of the totally obscured subject matter is the 4 extra hours it will take me to finish the project – and that’s good for my bank account.

Thanks for shelling out the billable hours, bikini girl!
Posted in search fail, tacky, useless | No Comments »
Friday, January 8th, 2010
A good sasquatch smile is hard to find. As we all know, bigfoot pictures are few and far between. Too bad that damn creepy girl RUINED this perfectly good one. I guess I’ll photoshop her out….

Just look at that girl ... that wild cannibal look in her eyes ... she's freaking me out.
Reader submitted: Thanks PH for this mythical image.
Tags:creepy happy sasquatch with children
Posted in child abuse, creepy, search fail, useless, wtf? | No Comments »