Bad Stock Art

Notice there aren’t really any lawyers. Thanks image search.

Oh no! I see a verdict in your future.

You have the right to remain creepy.

Let's go to THAT Denny's.

Gangstas keep their laptops real. With gold plating and Norton handgun security. Bang!

Don't make me fucking kill you.

No one sees my nips coming
before I blast them.

Bang Bang!

Freeze!

Freeze!!

Freeeeze!!!

FREEZE!!! Or no lap dance!!!

Freeze!! The 80s are over!!

Oh, here's your bullet.

FREEZE!!! I need you...

Serious women don’t take no shit from spammers.

Do yoursef a favor... don't have kids.

I’m not normally pleased by daily stock photography search fails. But look at this badass! Who needs a stupid dog when you have sexy ninjas with throwing stars?? I think all my ads will feature lethal sex ninjas from now on.

Keyword search sneak attack!

Photographers really know how to bring out the emotions deep within all of us. Someone really captured granny’s inner shock and awe.

Shock

Awe

Shock Awe Shock Awe Shock Awe Shock Awe Shock Awe Shock Awe Shock Awe Shock Awe

Okay, I see how it is. Due to a recent and inexplicable explosion of a stock photography meme about women eating salad – I’ve come to realize you damn people want your stupid stock photography in a nice little list. Oh, the whole damn blogging world just loves their stupid blogger lists. You think I can’t make lists?? Oh, I’ll make a list all over your stupid face!!!

Delicious 90s salad - I get jiggy with salad!

Learn to draw huge bangs in precision detail at the Art Insitute of Chicago

I'm surprised Sandra Bernhard let someone draw her with her clothes on

Stick it in your salad hole.

Better stay on that diet, fatty fat fat.

Stare at it!!! It's beautiful!!!!!!!!

Oh, you want another list? You want another one? Here you go.

Pregnant Women Eating Salad

Hahaha my baby loves apples! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH!!!

Oh yeah... you wanna watch while I impregnate myself with greens?

Gotta blow on this salad, it's too hot!

When I eat a apple I touch myself.

Oh yeah bitch? Watch me eat MY apple - grrrrrr

You want more, tough guy? Well by all means, coming right up….

Hey, remember when we were allowed to use NFL copyrighted logos and apparel in whatever way you feel like without consent of the NFL? Yeah, me neither, because you were never allowed. Not even in the 80s when this shot was taken. Nice shades, asshole.

The 80s called, they don't want you to come back. Ever.

Ahhh yes. You can see the anguish in her eyes. You can touch the pain in her corduroy hat. You can taste the savory relevance to my image search in the broken glass shards… Bellissimo.

Will this make me happy?