Bad Stock Art

I hate jumping. Hate. I may never jump ever again. It was somehow digestible as advertising in the 80s – or maybe people made fun of it then too, I’m not sure. I was too busy watching cartoons and being warped by tv commercials. The sheer  scale of this soul-crushing avalanche of bullshit is frightening. Why? Why is this considered the go-to gesture by photographers and advertisers? WHY?? I hate it and can’t wait for it to die.

Brace yourselves and your fragile minds… this could take awhile.

Synergy!!

My balls!!

Your balls!!

What balls!?

Ballers!!

Work it till it hurts, bitch!!! I have NO EFFING CLUE why jumping is so popular. It’s not really an expression of any kind. Except in this case, it expresses this fierce bitch working it until it hurts.

Ohhhh yeeeeahhhh!! FEEL my delivery!!!

Ah yes, the jumping boxing businesswoman. The next logical step down the long road of complete visual madness. Why is she striking a happy sales model pose while jumping and punching? No one knows. Except you, crazy photographer.

What am I doing? Jump punching. What are you doing?

Not sure if these are children, but I am sure that the focal point of this picture is the in-your-face-flying-genitals.

Snatch Attack!