Archive for the ‘fail’ Category

Searched for: money (pt 2)

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

Man, I’ll never catch up to that floating dollar with these tiny legs. Also, that weird shaft coming out of my skull concerns me a little. Maybe I should see a doctor…

Man with enormous head chases dollar

Fat head chasing his dreams

Searched for: hands close up (pt 2 of ∞)

Saturday, February 13th, 2010

Ohhhhhhh, you thought you were done looking at stupid painted metallic hands. Nope. It never ends. EVER!

Metallic model sells out

FEEL my glitter sheen!!

Nor do the objects held by metal hands:

Stupid lame metal hands holding light bulb

I have an idea - STOP WASTING FILM!!

Searched for: hands close-up

Saturday, February 13th, 2010

Note to professional models seeking work: if you get propositioned by a motivated photographer with buckets of metallic body paint: RUN AWAY. Otherwise you’ll have to get naked and paint yourself up for a never-ending photo shoot featuring you and your glittery, submissive skin. If you’re that desperate for cash, be sure you get paid up front and say ‘no thanks’ to a percentage of the royalties. Because no one is going to buy that shit.

Metallic hands firing gun

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

It really never ends…

More stupid metallic hands

High 5 on fumes!

Gawd damn stinking metallic hands

I have a cup.

Searched for: melted ice cream (part 3)

Friday, February 5th, 2010

Yep, another super fabulous artsy photoshop series – I’m going to call it, “Photoshop Sextasy”

Melted paint on face - pseudo art

Oh yeahhh, render that bitmap all over my face.

And a little creepier, but equally nonsensical and pseudo-dramatic sensual.

Photoshop melts woman's face

You're so hot when your skin slides off your face.

Searched for: melted ice cream (part 2)

Friday, February 5th, 2010

Well, I didn’t plan to make out with a sensual man and his waffle cone today, but … I can’t …. look away…. must … lick…

Man impregnates ice cream with face

Man impregnates ice cream with face

Searched for: melted ice cream

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

While we needed the ice cream to be melting, there’s NO WAY we were about to pay for one of those crazy expensive food photographers. Although, they might not have made the ice cream look like shit.

Ice cream on a spoon - or poop on a spoon

This ice cream tastes like ass!

Searched for: fun job

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. That’s my little mantra when regarding CGI. As if we couldn’t tell the SAME GUY is in the rocket chair.

Oh Nooooo! My photoshop clone!

Searched for: Valentine’s day (part 4)

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

Awwwwww… marketing holiday romance is in the air.

Heart-shaped dorks

I heart you! I heart you tooooooooo!

Searched for: couple cooking (reader submitted)

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

I didn’t know you could braise greens in LSD, but I suppose the proof is in the pudding. Thanks @pagalina for this inexplicably trippy submission.

Couple does drugs while cooking

Honey, pass me the shrooms.

Searched for: sunglasses

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

Seriously, those sunglasses are so 1980’s – I can’t possibly use them, it wouldn’t be believable. I guess I’ll photoshop a more modern pair on his/her head…

Oh, I should probably photoshop a shirt on him/her while I’m at it…

Oh, and get rid of that ridiculous scarf, too.

Oh, and one last thing…

MAYBE I’LL REMOVE THE BABY’S ASSCRACK FROM ITS CHIN AND ADD A MOUTH, NOSE AND HUMAN FUCKING FACIAL FEATURES.

But, other than that, this is p-e-r-f-e-c-t.

Ass on your face, ass on your face, lookin like a fool with that ass on your face.