Archive for the ‘creepy’ Category

Searched for: barbie (part 6)

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

Is that a fly landing in a pile of shit on your face? Is it a disgusting hairy mole on a creepy mannequin? No, it’s bad stock art. Welcome to our nightmare.

Kiss me, I'm plastic.

Searched for: outrage

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

This reminds me of those silly Burger King commercials, where the jovial king galavants around spreading burger fun to males aged 18-34. Only, in this commercial, the King is about to have it his way with the baby he chained up in the basement. Also, technically, the photographer does make me feel outrage.

Where's Dateline NBC's Chris Hanson when you need him...

Searched for: barbie (part 3)

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

That’s weird, I don’t remember typing “Fallujah” in my search…

Fallujah Barbie comes with a coach bag and a goat.

Searched for: barbie (part 2)

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

Oh, to be a first semester art/photography student again… Yeah, when I was in college 1000 years ago, the internet sucked and you couldn’t sell your goth dorm decorations to major stock photography sites – you just had to light candles around them and listen to Marilyn Manson like everyone else.

Goth Barbie Jesus died for your sins

Searched for: Valentine’s day (pt 8)

Monday, February 15th, 2010

As an evil marketer, there’s nothing worse than exploiting the obsession humans have with their offspring. Oh, except artsy photographers who know this sort of garbage will make them a buck. Sadly, the Hallmark Gods LOVE nonsensical attempts at beauty that sell paper and ink, so the cycle continues.

Creepy dad embraces baby feet

I'm creative. Love me...

Searched for: melted ice cream (part 3)

Friday, February 5th, 2010

Yep, another super fabulous artsy photoshop series – I’m going to call it, “Photoshop Sextasy”

Melted paint on face - pseudo art

Oh yeahhh, render that bitmap all over my face.

And a little creepier, but equally nonsensical and pseudo-dramatic sensual.

Photoshop melts woman's face

You're so hot when your skin slides off your face.

Searched for: baby eating

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

Well, at least she’s not eating the baby. But, making out with him is pretty bad, too. Sheesh.

Whoa Mama...

Searched for: sunglasses

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

Seriously, those sunglasses are so 1980’s – I can’t possibly use them, it wouldn’t be believable. I guess I’ll photoshop a more modern pair on his/her head…

Oh, I should probably photoshop a shirt on him/her while I’m at it…

Oh, and get rid of that ridiculous scarf, too.

Oh, and one last thing…

MAYBE I’LL REMOVE THE BABY’S ASSCRACK FROM ITS CHIN AND ADD A MOUTH, NOSE AND HUMAN FUCKING FACIAL FEATURES.

But, other than that, this is p-e-r-f-e-c-t.

Ass on your face, ass on your face, lookin like a fool with that ass on your face.

Searched for: househusband (part 3)

Monday, January 25th, 2010

Clearly this photo is a metaphor for the complex feelings men have when they are not the sole breadwinner of their household. They fear their dominant wife because they would literally eat them and their masculinity alive.

Or it could just be a stupid ass picture. I can’t decide.

Gimme some head!

Searched for: Joy (part 3)

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

I said JOY, stock art people. JOY. Not my dirty Uncle Ed looking through a peephole at me as I poop.

Waaaaaah.