Archive for the ‘acting!’ Category

actor

Tuesday, September 4th, 2012

there’s a lot of bad acting going on in stock photography. mostly douchebag creeps with cameras act like photographers to get girls to naked. then, to continue the assault, they publish their soft porn pics and we’re supposed to act like it’s artistic:

Then again, theater is dumb and someone might as well get naked.

Married dorks

Jersey Fairy

Who you callin fairy?

Mime with CD Rom

Tongue Actor

Tiger Man

Get some hair plugs, tiger.

Watermelon Mime

Your cousin vinny

Cartoon girl

Sexy actress

Don’t cry, your agent will call any minute I just know it!

Nope, I didn’t rotate the image.

 

Uhhhhh…

The artist named this “Steve McQueen” and made a snot bubble fly out of his nose. Thanks for those things.

 

Lonely freak

Lonely freak.

 

Searched for: homeless man (reader submitted)

Monday, January 31st, 2011

Let’s just go ahead and reinforce that cartoon hobo stereotype. It’s much easier to rationalize the plight of actual humans living on the streets if we constantly picture them as buccaneers laid off by Captain Hook.

Typical realistic bum

Can you spare a bit-part in a Disney movie?

big thanks to @Crachapelle for this spot-on example of useless stock photography – the rest of you should try to be  a little more like @Crachapelle

Searched for: children shouting (pt 3)

Friday, February 26th, 2010

Look, photogs, if you have a bad shot in your reel – DON’T. SELL. IT. No one wants it. Also, sorry kid, but when you grow up and you’re a little-known broadway understudy you’re going to look back at this and … well, you’ll probably be proud of it. Never mind.

I'm a child who is shouting!

Searched for: surprise (pt 2)

Sunday, February 21st, 2010

That’s a wrap! Great performance, everyone. Thanks for your dedication and hard work in really nailing this elusive emotion. Fortunately, the clown make-up and the little kid punching your face really helped us get into the character. Totally realistic.

Woman surprised by floating hand of child

Surprise! Child punches hurt the most!

Searched for: couple cooking (reader submitted)

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

I didn’t know you could braise greens in LSD, but I suppose the proof is in the pudding. Thanks @pagalina for this inexplicably trippy submission.

Couple does drugs while cooking

Honey, pass me the shrooms.

Searched for: camera

Monday, December 28th, 2009

“Can you see the surprise on my face as I realistically push this button??” That’s how models “acted” back in the 90′s when this was taken. Oh wait, they still “act” that way – like people who will never be actors.

Quick, get the shot - I can't act much longer!