Bad Stock Art

Well kids, there’s a sexploitation o’ plenty this St. Patty’s Day. Don’t believe me? Do you see the butt crack on that busty cartoon girl? Yeah, and plenty o’ pervy photographers to go around, too. Cheers! And Happy Sex Patrick’s Day!

Um, did you want to pinch some part of me? Any part of me that you notice, go ahead...

And there’s plenty more from the real world …

Yeah, just dump it all over yourself, you'll look great from this angle.

Sexism! In real time!!!

Don't forget to wear green. Oh, and a shirt, too.

What? You don’t see the cell phone? Yeah, we didn’t either. It’s tucked into his ’special helmet’. The description of the image says “bricklayer with cell phone”.

Have you seen my baseball?

Alice in garbage-land? It is mighty sad and astonishing the number of undoubtedly male photographers who get off by supplying models with t&a revealing wardrobes – whether or not it has anything to do with the subject matter. And what is the subject of this shot anyway? Burning trash? Is the whole house burnt down? Where’s the Cheshire Cat?

We're shooting for a new magazine, "My Nonsense Fantasies". Should be on bottom shelves in 7-11 by next year.

© copyright 1999-2010 Getty Images, Inc.

Yeahhhhh, we’ve all played that game with Mom’s latex gloves floating in the sink. What we all didn’t do is expect people to pay money for pictures of playtime. These sorta remind me of a zombie coming at me trying to grab my boobs – if I had boobs.

Zombie gloves need love, too.

You really shouldn’t sell your 3rd grade student’s school project to a major stock photography site. There are child labor laws, you know.

Mommy, can I go out and play now??

© copyright 1999-2010 Getty Images, Inc.

Ahhh yes. You can see the anguish in her eyes. You can touch the pain in her corduroy hat. You can taste the savory relevance to my image search in the broken glass shards… Bellissimo.

Will this make me happy?

We’re back y’all!!! Back from the deadly grip of a hacker and his hundreds of yellow CG zombie arms. Nearly lost us into a CG sea for eternity.

Yes, you in the back...

Look y’all, our junk is broke! I’m trying to fix the back-end of our blog, but for now, you’ll just have to punch your laptops in a spiteful rage…

okay, so, did this kid just high five a rainbow? excuse me, high ten. also, do people know what a lens flare filter is? it’s a button you click in photo shop that makes your composition instantly look like crap.

Mommy, the rainbow touched me...

HoLee Shit. Can you really get away with selling shit that looks worse than clip art? Worse than a child could do? Worse than a color blind horse’s ass that just dropped it’s pile of poo on a blind man’s lap and the blind man made a painting of it and another blind man scanned it into illustrator and then traced it? Can you really??? Apparently you can.

Our maker doesn't love us!