Bad Stock Art

We’re back y’all!!! Back from the deadly grip of a hacker and his hundreds of yellow CG zombie arms. Nearly lost us into a CG sea for eternity.

Yes, you in the back...

Look y’all, our junk is broke! I’m trying to fix the back-end of our blog, but for now, you’ll just have to punch your laptops in a spiteful rage…

okay, so, did this kid just high five a rainbow? excuse me, high ten. also, do people know what a lens flare filter is? it’s a button you click in photo shop that makes your composition instantly look like crap.

Mommy, the rainbow touched me...

HoLee Shit. Can you really get away with selling shit that looks worse than clip art? Worse than a child could do? Worse than a color blind horse’s ass that just dropped it’s pile of poo on a blind man’s lap and the blind man made a painting of it and another blind man scanned it into illustrator and then traced it? Can you really??? Apparently you can.

Our maker doesn't love us!

Yeah, didn’t need the zombie kids as much, but yes, they are nice..

Braiinnnnns!

And as if they weren’t useless enough, let’s go for photoshop bloody murder:

We said ... BRRRRAAAAAIIINNNNNS!!!!

Look, photogs, if you have a bad shot in your reel – DON’T. SELL. IT. No one wants it. Also, sorry kid, but when you grow up and you’re a little-known broadway understudy you’re going to look back at this and … well, you’ll probably be proud of it. Never mind.

I'm a child who is shouting!

Is that a fly landing in a pile of shit on your face? Is it a disgusting hairy mole on a creepy mannequin? No, it’s bad stock art. Welcome to our nightmare.

Kiss me, I'm plastic.

Sorry ITT tech, we don’t want your student work. Thanks anyway.

Surprise! Nobody wants me!

“Well, the spreadsheet macros are enabled … let’s see here… let me just put my hoof down my pants and … YEP! There it goes. I fixed it.”

What the buck were they thinking?

Just makes you want to say “ahhh”, doesn’t it?

Is there a doctor in the house? No, she'll do just fine...